RESOURCES

I do not take recommendations lightly. Thank you for your trust. If there is a financial kickback on anything, it is noted for full transparency.


BOOKS

ON EMPOWERMENT + PLEASURE

Pussy, Regena Thomashauer

Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, Sheri Winston

Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, Adrienne Maree Brown

Sex by Design, Betty Dodson

Sex for One, Betty Dodson

ON RECOVERY + HEALING

Healing Sex, Staci Haines

The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk

Holistic Healing After Miscarriage, Samantha Zipporah

Holistic Healing After Abortion, Samantha Zipporah

ON SACRED SEXUALITY

Urban Tantra, Barbara Carellas

Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, Mantak Chia

Finding God Through Sex, David Deida

ON LOVE

True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, Thich Nhat Hanh

All About Love, bell hooks

ON ETHICAL NON MONOGAMY

Opening Up ,Tristan Taormino

Playing Monogamy, Simon(e) van Saarloos

Love Without Emergency, Clementine Morrigan

ON DATING

Deeper Dating, Ken Page

I recorded a read along podcast series with my friend Maria Juzwin on this book over the span of a 1.5 years and a whole lot of dating. Check it out here.


EDUCATION

Omgyes.com – learn how other women masturbate. Science based, heavily researched, yet doesn’t feel clinical. A really valuable tool for women and the people who have sex with them.

Shaun Galanos – Shaun makes communication and intimacy tools for people who want better relationships. I highly recommend his very affordable courses on emotional availability and effective communication. You can also learn a ton from his podcast.

Clementine Morrigan – Her course on trauma informed polyamory is a must do for anyone navigating that world. Best $25 you will ever spend.

Samantha Zipporah – Her courses on Conscious Contraception and Miscarriage and Abortion are fantastic.


PORN

Pay for your porn. It is people’s job. Nobody asks you to work for free. Or maybe they do, I don’t know. But nobody should have to work for free.

MAKE LOVE NOT PORN

In 2009 Cindy Gallop spoke at TED about her direct personal experience of technology’s impact on our sex lives and launched makelovenotporn.com. Every movie is hand-selected by their Curatorial Team to ensure the videos are consensual, contextualized, and porn-cliche free. They use a revenue-sharing business model. Half of the proceeds from each rental goes to the people who made the video.

Some of my favourite videos from the site are here:

The intro of this one is so beautiful. The woman talks about how she just finished a month long trauma intensive and shares how it is impacting their sex life.

This is one of my favourite couples on this site. I felt like I recognized the woman in the couple, and later realized we followed each other on Instagram. We both love each other’s work, and got to fangirl gush all over one another in our DMs. It was pretty special.

Another one of my favourite couples, they show you how being in a wheelchair does not need to limit your sexiness. Representation is important and these two are getting sexy out in nature all over the place, pushing the edges of what is possible.

CARRE ROSE FILMS

Carré Rose Films was born out of a desire to see a greater diversity of practices and a better representation of bodies in French porn. They have a small collection, but it is high quality.

This one is incredible for capturing a real conversation of consent before getting sexy. It is also very hot. Highly recommend.

This one was also really good. It was shot in 60 minutes and is completely unedited. These two had been lovers before. If you are trying to navigate casual sex and want a good example of being good to one another, generous, and communicative, watch this!

A FOUR CHAMBERED HEART

From a background in analog photography, art school bullshit and digital sex online, Four Chambers is a project, an idea and an ongoing collaboration with the intention to explore the aesthetic and conceptual potential of pornography as a medium for ideas.

All of it is stunning. Some of it is intense, and just not my thing (piss play and degradation don’t do it for me personally).

Check out all the trailers. It is incredible artistry regardless of if it turns you on. These are the ones I loved:

This one really got me. Something about the religious tones, and her very honest speaking over it let me get to know her as a person and that made it so much more meaningful and connected to me.

This one is a bit of an ecosexual dream scene. Even the trailer gets me going. Ouff.


PLEASURE TOOLS

The Lake – I am an official educator for this small Canadian company. They might pay me, but we felt each other out for over a year before we solidified our partnership. I love what Phil and Bren believe about pleasure. They are good people. They have an excellent line of curated Body Exploration Devices (B.E.D.’s for short) that I stand behind completely.

We are not kids playing. We are adults here to explore and be curious. The things we use need to be both beautiful and effective. That is what you will find on their site.

I also blog for them each month. You can check it out here.


WOMEN’S HEALTH

Samantha Zipporah – A wealth of information that is presented with humour and humanity. I recommend her zines (both of which are available online in digital format) Ovulation Awareness and Mapping the Yoniverse.

Beautiful Cervix Project – learn about your body and it’s cycles. Real visuals to deepen your brain connection to your deepest pleasure portals.

Diva Cup – this is my favourite menstrual cup, but there are lots of other to try if this one doesn’t feel good inside of you.

Thinx Period Underwear – I am a proud #thinxleader. I use these alone or as a back up to my diva cup overnight. Use the link for $10 off your first order. I make a small percentage of what you purchase.